Gosh, there are a lot of thoughtful, organized and timely people out there. I know this to be true because on this day, January 1, 2012, each time I peek at Twitter or Facebook, I am met with yet another introspective and wise reflection on the year past or a sincere goal or resolution for [...]
Occupy 520 (Sorry, my bad!)
Yesterday, I aborted a planned trip to Costco while waiting for a parking spot in front of the Kirkland location. I decided timing was too tight, plus I was super thirsty, so I went to Starbucks and happily chatted with a friend instead. As I passed the 108th Street exit on westbound highway 520 I [...]
L.O.L: Meet My Bestest Laundry Friend!
Due to a slight driving malfunction (my apologies garage door!) I am forced to be myself today; a stay-at-home mom, the kind who is rumored to do laundry and stuff like that. But alas, when I was not-at-home yesterday, I neglected to acquire that which is necessary for the proper completion of that task: laundry [...]
Missoni Accomplished: Target bullseye! Zigzags bagged!
I am a gifted shopper. This dubious ability is the direct result of a childhood then work life spent at Nordstrom. Once I had first son Sweetie Boy, the math favored staying home with him, and thus my shopping habits shifted from Nordstrom-Nordstrom-Nordstrom to Target-Sometimes Nordstrom-But Mostly Target…the Nordstrom of big box stores. My love [...]
Sir Wax-a-Lot! Uncensored and Unwaxed
I waxed on and on about wax in my July Loud and About column in Scene Magazine by the Bellevue Reporter. Surprisingly a few bits didn’t make it past the editors. This shocked me because I read this original version aloud to a group of kids to measure the shock value and the only feedback I got [...]
The Worst Mother in the World on the John Curley Show KIRO 97.3FM
Does being a mom suck? John Curley interviews The Worst Mother in the World.
Dear Oprah, Happy Mother’s Day! Love, Us
This morning I woke up to the familiar and sometimes terrifying sound of sticky little feet running towards my bedroom. My seven year old daughter, Sistafoo, couldn’t wait to get started on the annual Mother’s Day ritual being played out across the USA. Moms everywhere are trapped in their beds waiting for adorable variations of [...]
Safety Mom
As the mom whose kid spent all night in the E.R. trying to dislodge the wad of meat blocking his esophagus I understand it may be overly ballsy to give safety advice, but I just can’t help it tonight. A few gentle reminders for parents of small children; 1) Feel free to teach, remind and [...]
Tiger Mother; Not A Pu**y
From now on, I refuse to take a mommy timeout when I feel like threatening to burn all of my children’s toys or find myself in an irrational rage over a half-assed homework effort or an incomplete household chore. Instead I will chalk it up to my new Chinese parenting skills. In Battle Hymn of [...]
Meet Heija
Hi! I’m Heija, the Worst Mother in the World. Before you let envy set in, know this, I share this wretched title with every other mother ever, even Angelina Jolie.
- The Broken Penis Talk
- Don’t Hate Me Because I Am Ovulating
- Do Your Eyes Light Up?
- It’s Okay To Look?
- Good Morning Mrs. Twitter!
