Good Morning Mrs. Twitter!

Today Oprah learned to Twitter.

I joined Twitter two weeks ago and allow me to say, whew! Thank goodness my mean friends won’t be able to say something along the lines of “do you do EVERYTHING Oprah tells you to do?” (For the record the answer is yes, for the most part)

I have tweeted 31 times. Excuse me.

When I sign in to Twitter, I can scroll through my home page to read updates from the nine people I am following. If I am really interested in reading their updates in real time I can enable my mobile phone to receive updates by Text. I do not text, I talk. Texting is for gossiping twelve year old girls or sometimes, only sometimes, useful for reaching people in meetings (big fun) or when email is unavailable (the horror). When I joined Twitter I decided not to receive Text messages from anyone.

Except Oprah.

This morning I woke to a loud electronic boooinngg noise coming from waaaayyy down in the kitchen. A few minutes later it happened again, then again. I opened my grumpy morning mommy mouth to beg for mercy as I looked at the clock. 7:05am, Pacific Standard Time. I snapped my mouth shut as I realized that Oprah Winfrey was INSIDE MY HOUSE waking my butt up, as she learned to Twitter live on stage in Chicago.

Twitter is good for celebrities like Oprah, Ellen Degeneres or Ryan Seacrest. Because they lead unusual lives it is not unreasonable to expect interesting updates. No pressure. If they fail to be interesting we can cool our burning disappointment with the salve of recognition that celebrities are people too.

The rest of us have to “bring it” or risk growing resentment from our followers/stalkers. I am quite sure that none of my stalkers have the slightest interest in my son’s Lacrosse practice schedule-at least they better not. Mere mortals like myself have but two paths in the Twitterverse; aggressively follow large numbers of Tweeps in an effort to feel popular while losing hours each day to the sucking sound of time being lost to reading about other people’s lives, or follow a few funny people/celebrities who may offer entertainment while trying your level best to not to bore the nice people who have stumbled upon your own posts in which you try desperately to be witty.

I ‘ve chosen path number two. Forgive me.

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